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Gabrielle: Thanks to my mother-in-law who let me do her taxes, and paid us some money and a gift card for the effort. And thanks to God who gave us unforseen money. We paid the hospital $105.43 for an ER visit. We had received $155 from Aflac so it wasn't hard. But the hospital just told us we overpaid and gave us the $105.43 back!
Gabrielle: Thanks to our Current Fundraiser customers. We got our first check this week! Also thanks to H.M. She did a Pampered Chef party for us and donated her commission of over $60!
Gabrielle: Thanks to my brother again. This time he bought something I didn't need anymore but that he did. And my oldest younger sister (that gets complicated when I have 4 sisters) saved money on a treadmill by buying mine from me. Between them, we were able to put $75 in the adoption fund.
Gabrielle: Thanks to my brother and Rob's sister for giving us stuff we can sell. Also to A.G. for being so generous to give us her garage sale proceeds and all leftovers for our garage sale!
Gabrielle: Thanks also to my mother and Rob's mother. Their birthday gifts to me go to our adoption! Rob's mom gave in the past for holidays as well. And thanks to everyone who bought something at our garage sale last year!
Gabrielle: Thanking D.G. for her $10 contribution!

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Thursday, January 21st 2010

7:58 PM

Long Time No Update

  • Mood: hurt, then angry, now hopeful

It's been awhile since I updated and I'm here to fix that.  We were with Nightlight Christian Adoptions and things had been going well. Or so we thought.  I had talked to their director a few times at length before we applied.  And I'm pretty sure I brought up that I never wanted to have birth children at some point. I don't hide it.

In August we got a phone call.  They were declining us.  They gave 3 reasons, which I will refute below.  They gave our social worker a different reason and wanted her to tell us they were declining. She said they'd have to do that themselves.

Reason #1: Our "huge" debt.  Excuse me but our total debt is less than the average American mortgage.  Our credit card debt is only about 1/10 of that, add the cars and it's still less than $40,000.  The rest is student loans and a mortgage.  You can't tell me that Russia won't let any Americans with student loans or mortgages adopt their orphans.  I don't buy it.

Reason #2: Rob's job situation.  Well, he just graduated in the spring last year.  He was working seasonally for the IRS.  The season ended for him in May or June.  He got unemployment after that and started job hunting. He was working part-time at Pizza Hut throughout.  They declined us just after Rob had gotten hired to be an office manager for H&R Block.  It is still seasonal, but it's a good-paying job and will be good experience for him in his next job hunt.

Reason #3: A communicable disease that I won't go into here.  It's personal.  And it's the only possibly viable reason.  Russia does still have a stigma about it.  But it doesn't matter anyway. It's gone.  Either it was never there and the previous tests gave false positives or God healed it when I asked Him too. 

The reason they gave our social worker is probably the real reason they declined us: They are concerned that I don't want to have birth children.  This Christian agency can't think God is big enough to make someone like me who choose adoption first and only.

Needless to say, we will never go back to that agency. Nor would we recommend them to anyone.  They did refund us 3/4 of the $2000 dollars we'd already paid.

So we took a bit of a break.  I was devastated at first.  Then I just got angry that they'd not only get with God on this but lie about it, too.  We just took a break while we decided what to do.  We talked to two other adoption agencies, including about the 4 reasons given and only #3 was a valid concern--until it was healed.  Then the holidays came up. 

So now we're ready to get started again.  We have chosen to try Small World Adotpions. They are in St. Louis, so we'd have it easier if we wanted to go there in person.  They are a Christian Agency too, but I think we'll talk to them again before we apply and let them know that if they think they're going to decline us because of my decision to adopt that they shouldn't waste our time.  Hopefully, they'll stick with what they've said thus far. 

Please pray that this will be the right agency. We're going to do a Home Study Addendum first to clear up the health issues (by taking one problem off!) and Rob's job situation.

We'll have to do a Home Study Update in August. Hopefully by then, Rob will have a permanent job and that won't come up again.

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Tuesday, March 17th 2009

6:13 PM

Breaking the Silence

  • Mood:
Sorry, I've been "mum" for awhile now.  We were considering a change in adoption agencies and I didn't want to jeopardize anything if we didn't switch.  Well, I made the call to WACAP today.  They are no longer our agency. 

We will be sending our application to Nightlight Christian Adoptions very soon (hopefully we can finish it up this week) along with our first payment.

They have a completely different fee structure that I like.  I like their philosophy.  They've been in "business" for 50 years and in Russia since 1982.

Now, there is a bit of a problem with our home study agency. They are on a black-list from Russia due to late or missing post-placement reports. I spoke with them today about that (and the switch).  They had a family who moved to another state after 2 post-placements were done.  They transferred to another agency to finish the post-placements.  Which they did.  Only those reports never got to Russia.  So, with our agency being the agency on file, they ended up on the blacklist.  They assured me they got those reports, had them translated, and then sent them to the Texas consulate.  So the reports should be in the region soon and their name should come off the blacklist.

So, we're ready to move again!  Please keep us in your prayers!
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Friday, November 14th 2008

7:58 PM

In Limbo

  • Mood:
We are presently in limbo.  Our agency has concerns about our ability to afford the adoption. 

Honestly that seems to try to shake my faith.  God will provide is what I have faith for.

Anyway, we are taking a break.  Not that I want to.  But Rob has to get good grades this semester in order to graduate.  Of course, once done with school, he'll be able to work more hours and our income will go up.  That may help with the agency.

In the meantime, we've been socking away money as much as we can.  We have upped our biweekly amount to $95.  I still put everything I get from the Arabia Steamboat Museum (my weekend job) and Melaleuca into the adoption fund.  So we can usually add at least $500 a month.  We have now raised over $11000 in tolal now.  We have just over $8000 left in our fund.

Still a month and a half before Rob finishes (hopefully by graduating!).  Finances are tight until then, though we don't take away from what we put into the adoption savings. 

We've also been saving for our property taxes.  Got the bill yesterday.  We had to estimate since they were new cars (to us), so we fell a couple hundred dollars short of our bill.  Next year we'll save $30 biweekly and that should help.  (This year was $24)

In addition, we have a savings account for our cats.  It's our form of pet insurance. I had pet insurance once and got stiffed.  So this way, we keep our "premiums" and get the reimbursements from them.  Poodie is getting older (he's 13) so it's come in handy.  We know we have the funds to take him to the vet and keep him healthy.  We put $15 away each two weeks for the kitties.

Multiple savings accounts are helpful this way.  So I recommend ING Direct to you.  Accounts are free.  You just have to have $1 to start them.  It's an online bank.  You transfer money from your brink and mortar bank.  Interest is a bit higher though, presently at 2.75%. They'll even give us (you $25, and us $10).  So e-mail me and I'll send you an invitation.  They also have online checking accounts. They are free and earn about 1.74% interest.  Let me which you'd like a referral to.

Well, hopefully Rob will graduate and get back to work at the IRS early next year. Our income will pick up and we'll get back on track for our adoption journey.

Gabrielle


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Thursday, August 14th 2008

7:32 PM

All in God's Hands (and our agency's now)

  • Mood:

We need lots of prayers (and we still need lots of money).  We've completed our part.  All our paperwork has been turned in.  Rob's employer verification has been worked out (not perfectly but hopefully it will work).  Our home study agency has submitted our home study to the adoption agency.  We submitted our Parenting Resource Plan to the adoption agency.  So now the adoption agency is reviewing our home study.

Please pray that we are approved and that we are approved before Sept. 1st.

This is really our first hurdle to jump.  If God puts us over it, we'll have more.  Immigration, Russia, referral, judge, etc.  And money all along.  If we are approved, we will soon get our first bill from the adoption agency for $7000+ (+ is for $10 for each month of our home study).  That's $3000 of their fee and $4000 of the foreign fee.  The second bill is even bigger than that.  In addition to that $7000 bill, we'll need to start our immigration paperwork, and that could be between $1000 and $2000.   So please also pray for God's providence and, if you can help, please do.

Thank you.



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Monday, August 11th 2008

10:21 PM

Ups and Downs

  • Mood:
We had our home visit last week and it all went fairly smoothly.  We did decide to pay an extra $400 to expedite our homestudy so we're trying to help hurry things along now.  You see, our adoption agency's fees are going up.  By at least $2000.  But we can lock in the present fee schedule if our home study is approved by Sept. 1.  So we paid an extra $400 to hopefully avoid the extra $2000+.

We turned in our paper work on the 29th of July.  We had our home visit on the 6th of August.  I got the completed home study to review today and reviewed it and sent it back within hours.  We have one thing holding us up.  Rob's employment verification letter.  We can't get it from corporate and his manager doesn't have any letterhead on hand. 

That one thing is holding us up.  Once our home study agency has that, they can forward everything over to the adoption agency and we'll hopefully get approved by the 1st of September.

On the downside still, we weren't approved for 2 children.  We were approved for just one.  Reasons were that we were only married 2 years and that we have no parenting experience.  It hit me like a kick in the gut but I'm reconciled to it.  My dream never actually showed me the little boy.  It only told me that my daughter knew she had a brother.  We may be able to find him later. 

On the bright side of it, our little house won't be so crowded as we had planned.  We'll be able to make one of the bedrooms back into an office/library and the where-to-put-the-computers issue will be solved.  We will probably move our little girl's room to the front bedroom though, and move the office to the "green" room at the back where we had planned for our daughter.

As it stands with that one hold-back, we should have that letter by Wednesday.  I really wanted it today. And if not today, I wanted it Tuesday.  But the manager still doesn't have letterhead.  She has a meeting with other managers tomorrow and will try and get some.  Or Rob will get some on Wednesday during his split shift and get it to her.
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Wednesday, July 30th 2008

7:10 PM

Home Study Progress, take 2

  • Mood:
We finally finished our paper work!  I turned in our paperwork yesterday and paid the $2400 fee.  (That's $1200 for the home study and pre-payment for the post-placement reports at $300 each.)  Then today, we added another $400.

Why?  Because fees with our adoption agency are going up.  We can lock in the present fee schedule if our home study is approved by Sept. 1.  It did not look like that was going to happen without expediting the service.  If we didn't pay for expedite fee, we'd likely end up with the new schedule and that would add more than $2000 to our expenses.  So $400 seemed the better option.  Now, hopefully, our home study will be forwarded to our adoption agency by the middle of August and approved before Sept. 1st. Please pray that it makes that Sept. 1 deadline. I'd hate to have paid an extra $400 and then end up having to pay an extra $2000+ in addition to it.

Now what happens?  Well, the typist will start working on the typing and a social worker will call to schedule a time to meet with us.  (No evenings or weekends, which makes it hard for me as I work every single day of the week.  Taking a day off my M-F job means losing a hoarded vacation day.  Hoarded for Russia, of course.  Now, I can only carry over 120 hours each year and I have a bit--less than 19 hours--from last year so I might be able to swing it.  Otherwise, I'll swap one of my work-from-home days.) Then we'll get a copy of the home study to review/proof.  Then on it goes to our adoption agency, I think.

Once it's approved the bills start going up.  Our first bill from WACAP (the adoption agency) will be over $7000.  You can check our Progress page to see how we're doing on that.  Presently we've got about $4000 of it.  We really could use your help.  We'll also need to start paying for the visas and immigration stuff which will be between $1000 and $2000. 

On the bright side, once we've got an approved home study, we can start applying for grants and such from a bunch of sources.  Our new church did give us a $1000 grant already which will likely be used to pay part of that first WACAP bill.  We'll send them an invoice when we get one.

Onward we go.
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Monday, July 7th 2008

9:09 PM

God Bless our New Church!

  • Mood:
Our new church has an adoption support group and a ministry that awards grants to adoptive families.  That support group was part of why we chose that church as our new church.  We'd been looking for a new one due to the lack of support and caring at our previous one.  Oh, there were some areas where got support and love, the children's ministry and our small group for two.  But I left the choir after 5 years when I wasn't even allowed to ask the choir for help to pay for our sponsor child while I was unemployed last summer.  Where should one go for help and support but to one's church?  Yes, there are other places, but the church is supposed to be one of those cases.

Anyway, our new church has a passion for adoption that our old one is only trying to get.  The old church has a ministry that meets maybe a couple times a year.   This one meets once a month.  And the church really supports its members dreaming.  In fact, a ministry with an orphanage in Russia began with the dream (literally) of a woman in the congregation.

We then applied to the Adoption Resource Fund there and today I found an e-mail saying we were approved for $1000.  We will need to have our agency send an invoice but that won't be hard.

So if we total what we have and that $1000 that will pay almost half of our home study fees.  And we can take 100 off the number of $10 givers we need!  We still have a ways to go to pay the first WACAP fee (it will be a bit more than $7000).  Please check our Progress page to see how we're doing.  And please, consider helping us!  Thank you!

So God bless our new church!  I hope we are embarking on a relationship with our new church home.
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Thursday, June 26th 2008

9:53 PM

Website will be down.

  • Mood:
  Unfortunately, my website will be down for I hope no more than 24 hours.   You see, I've been having motherboard problems. 

New motherboard problems.  The first one I bought to replace a slowly failing one apparently was defective itself or the processor that came with it was.  It overheated.  Always and quickly.  No superduper fan or heat compound could make it stay on long enough to boot Windows.  At one point the BIOS pointed out the temp as being 205 degrees F.  That was just running the BIOS.

The one I bought to replace that one seemed to work, for the most part.  First, it forced me to upgrade to SATA.  Or it will in the future.  It does have one IDE controller.  So I have my two IDE hard drives in there.  No CD or DVD drives.  I'd need to buy SATA ones.  I have a USB one I use for installs.

The first very noticable problem was the onboard network card.  The drivers on the CD that came with the motherboard didn't work.  So, to get this computer running, and my websites back up, I got an old NIC (that's Network Interface Card) from my basement and stuck it in.  It worked. 

It was only recently that I tried to import some video from my video camera that I noticed the other two problems.  Sound and video.  Several programs I used weren't bringing in any sound, though I had it piped into the Line-In jack.  I did some poking around: Windows didn't know I had a Line-in or Mic jack.  Speakers work.  So outbound sound is fine.  Inbound is not.  I do have other sound cards lying around in my basement but this should work.  I get new drivers from the manufacturer and it still doesn't work.

One of my video capture software programs wouldn't even run because I didn't have enough colors.  I had 16bit and couldn't change it.  So apparently, the video driver on the CD stunk too.  I got a new one from the website and tried to install it but Windows tells me there is no software in that location (where I put the new driver) for my hardware.  So it won't install.  I do not have a video card for this lying around.  It's a PCI E and I only have AGP.  So I'm out there.

I've spoken to the store where I got it and they have agreed to replace it, even though it's passed the 30 days when I bought it.  So that's something.  But it still means a lot of work for me (in an evening because I work during the day--every day)  and downtime for my sites, and my e-mail. 

I'll have to turn this computer off (and it's my webserving, powerhorse that does everything computer), open it up, remove everything from the motherboard and remove the motherboard.  Then I have to shlepp it down to the store, a good 30 minutes (and lots of nearly $4 gas) away.  They'll trade me for another motherboard I'll be wary of.  Then I'll shlepp back home and if it's not too late, install this motherboard and all the other hardware, turn it on, and load the drivers and, God willing, everything will work and the web site will be back up.

I do have off July 4th so it might be a week before all this goes down.  Or I might just get frustrated and do it one evening before then. I don't like to put problems off.

Gabrielle
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Monday, June 23rd 2008

11:57 PM

Still on the homestudy

I've added a Process page showing what we have to do and what we still have to do.  We are still in the homestudy with most of the easier parts ironed out.

Reading update: Rob finally finished his first book.  I finished the Russian Adoption Handbook more than a week ago. I'm now on Boundaries with Kids.  The reading portion of our agreement is that we read these books during the entire adoption process, not that we have to have them read in order to complete the homestudy. We are starting to read The Whole Life Adoption Book when we drive together in the car.  I'm going to order Rob's next book once I get paid on Friday.

Rob's autobiography: I'm not sure where he is on it as I haven't seen it, but he's got an added priority now in doing homework for his accounting class.  He has to get B's or better in the classes he takes this semester and next in order to graduate.  It's a tough thing for me to have patience with but I want him to get his degree just as much as I want him to finish that thing.

Parenting Resource Plan: Probably the hardest part of the whole thing.  My sister, who has found many resources to help with her autistic son is going to help fill that one out.

The application:  I need to decide which two people always know where we are, who will be a backup in case Rob and I both die (not a will here, but a statement on our homestudy).  And then we have financial stuff to fill in, my mother and stepfather's addresses (could change any minute now so we're holding off) and some required explanations of answers on Rob's part.

Preferences: Chosen, just now need to explain our choices.

Background Checks: All done.  Got the FBI one's back and they came out clean, of course.

Education: We got 7 hours from the workshop we took with other families at our home study agency's office.  We're getting 4 more from Adoption Learning Partners.  We are 2 lessons away from finishing the With Eyes Wide Open Course.  We also have some other elective (and free) courses we can take there.  I'm going to do one on Lifebooks, and there's one for Tax Credits for Rob to do.

References: We have 5 back. We just need one more from a friend of ours.

So we're close but still a bit far from finishing the paperwork.


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Monday, May 5th 2008

9:09 PM

Home Study Progress

  • Mood:
Our Progress page can keep you up-to-date on the money side of this adoption. I'll keep you more updated on the non-monetary progress here on the blog.

The home study is a long process full of paper.

Here are the sections in our home study.

Our home study agency's packet consists of:

1) Birth Certificates (copies are fine, don't have to be notarized): Done

2) Marriage license (same as above): It's out in the safe.  Just haven't gotten it in to copy yet.

3) Income tax return (copy): Done

4) W-2 forms (copies): Done

5) Medical Insurance Verification (copy of our card): Done

6) Military discharge: Rob is working on that.

7) Family photo:  Won't be hard. Just don't have it yet.

Driving Directions: done  (If there's a smiley here, oh well.  Apparently the number 8 followed by a paren makes that.)

9) Reading Agreement: Signed (We both must read 3 books and then pick 2 each.  I'm reading one my individual  book and Rob has been reading one of his.)

10) Home Study Safety Handbook and Grievance Forms (for us to read and keep): done

11) Home Study Application:  Only a bit now not completed.  We hope to be finished with the home study by the end of the month. Most of what is left of the app is financial stuff, so we will base it on what's left at the end of the month.

12) Autobiographies: A long list of questions to write out answers to, individually.  I'm done with mine. Rob is still working on his.

13) Criminal Record Check and Child Abuse Check: We got fingerprinted yesterday.  We need to fill out the form for the Child Abuse Check next.  And then get fingerprinted again for the next thing.

14) FBI background check.

15) Confirmation of employment: Every current employer for both of us.  I've got my 2. Rob doesn't have either.

16) 6 personal references: We've got the forms out to 2.  Working on the other 4.

17) Health Statement from Physician: We've been to the doc, so it's up to her now.

1 Preference form: We have preliminarily answered it.  Probably will want to update and really give it a lot of thought before we turn it in.

19) Release of Information: Some questions on how to fill that puppy out.

20) Fee Agreement: we're good with it.

21) Home study fee: We've got it in the bank.

22) International post-placement fees: Got them in the bank, too.

23) Return the packet.

Our adoption Agency also has:

1) Requirements for our home study agency

2) Family Health Insurance Form: Done

3) Parent Resource Plan (A big questionaire. Only have to do part A for now.)

4) 10 hours of pre-adoption/parenting education: Done 7 in class.  Will do 4 online.

5) Release of Information: Done but for signatures

6) Post-Placement form for out home study agency to fill out


I started filling out this paperwork the day after we got it. I filled out the easily answered parts quickly and then worked on my autobiography.  Mine is about 20 pages long.  I haven't printed yet as I may want to edit it.  Rob is still working on his.  I got letters from my employers.  Rob has faxed the sample letter to one of his but hasn't received it back.  His other is tricky. It's a seasonal position.  Will be over soon after we turn in this packet.

All those copies were easy with our new All-in-One printer right there in the house.  Worked out nicely.  So I'm not worried about the Marriage license at this time.  It's the next time we have to gather all these documents that it will be complicated.  Because they will have to be certified, notarized copies.  Rob doesn't know where his discharge papers are so he'll have to request another copy.  Might was well get a certified one.  Or we'll do it twice.

We choose my older sister for our one family reference and the 5 friends to fill out the others.  I gave a form to my sister and another to R.D.   Rob was supposed to take the other 4 to church, which he did.  He was able to give 2 out, but only gave them the first page when there are two pages, so we kind of have to do it again.  He couldn't get to church last week, so we'll hopefully get it this Sunday.

We took the class at the end of March.  It was very informative.  We'll do an online class for the rest. I've signed us up and paid the fee.  We'll try to start on Wednesday as Rob works Monday and Tuesday evenings.

We got started with our background checks yesterday. I made the appointment a week or two ago and yesterday, on my lunch break, we went and got finger printed.  We'll have to get print cards for ourselves in order to send them to the FBI for that part.  The Child Abuse check is just a form we send in; no prints.

I do my reading on the bus to and from work.  It's about 10 minutes each way but I'm working through this book pretty quickly. I've maybe had it a month or a month and a half.  I'm on page 287.  That's a little less than halfway through it.

Rob is a bit slower on all his parts.  I'm hoping he'll get charged up and prioritize it this month.  He'll be back to school in a month and have far less time.  So this is it. He's got to finish it all this month.  I can't write his autobiography for him or do his part of the reading.  And there are things, like the Parenting Resource Plan and class that we have to do together.





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